Have you seen it?
Many will search far and wide for a partner that complements their personality, lifestyle, and life goals. The longer the search continues, the more many lose hope in the idea of the fairy tale and a happily ever after. The perfect relationship has many components that the average lover may never see in a lifetime. Young black Americans are craving a lifestyle that influences culture and finances that create opportunities for themselves and others.
Today’s dating market has many caveats that seem out of touch with reality. The courting phase has shifted with outrageous demands placed on the shoulders of any interested party. Many young women expect monetary compensation solely for their time. Getting to know someone is superseded by one’s perceived income potential. Unfortunately, a potential suitor has been reduced to a number. This idea has become contagious through social media with the hordes of relationship gurus.
Traditional women are now labeled as traitors to the women’s empowerment movement, while traditional men are seen as oppressive. The patience required to develop a lasting bond between two souls is now seen as a waste of time. Young men are just as misguided on how to approach a love interest. The individual’s personality in the current dating market is fading, with everyone clinging to a group or ideology to prove how in tune they are.
Young black men feel incapable of meeting astronomical expectations. Young black women feel that men are becoming more feminine. It seems like both sides are in a blind war to achieve relationship standard’s not of their own doing. The chance of young black people interested in building a life with someone is rapidly becoming an antiquated idea.
What does it look like?
In the current generation of instant satisfaction and validation, young black couples don’t stand a chance. With the constant bombardment of lifestyle gurus promoting lavishness as a basic expectation, the average black couple will die off slowly. One of the greatest indicators a child will be successful is if they come from a two-parent household. The idea of the family holds little concern when being ‘flown out’ is more important. Black power couples exist as a thought that encourages bad behavior.
The black experience in modern times is an incomplete jigsaw puzzle of idols, money, and selfishness. The idea of the black power couple has been diluted with fame and fortune far beyond reason. Consequently, fostering strong family values is nothing more than a weight around the neck of freedom of choice and lifestyle in the eyes of many young people. Furthermore, young people will claim the 1950s have died off, yet the 2020s show no real potential for healthy black couples to blossom.
Visual Stimulation in modern times has increased the infatuation with celebrities. Music, entertainment, and social media perpetuate the idea that money is the greatest priority in a life partner. Unfortunately, many black families earn a middle-class income yet still want to compete with the rich and famous. Established households crumble under the weight of unrealistic ambition. Gradually building such status over time is no longer viable. The conditions of fame and fortune have to be met instantly. There are no other options. Sadly, many chase those dreams and aspirations, and when unable to reach those goals become aggressive and violent.
Attaining great things should be anchored in the reality of one’s circumstances. College-bound black youth actively avoid substantive relationships because standards are set to unattainable levels by their peers.
Where do we go?
The end of the road is filled with speculation. How can anyone assert the future of the black couple, when over the last ten years things have changed drastically? The idea of two poor blacks marrying each other has developed such negative connotations. “Struggle Love” as it is called today has many looking solely for material stability in a potential partner. Black male suitors are expected to finance the lifestyle of a stranger. The dating market is as volatile as the dow jones.
There is no certainty that this trend will last. The overwhelming sensations of having a dream life eventually fade when the heart finds satisfaction. Men and women are more successful when working collaboratively towards any goal. Moreover, the expectation of luxury has grown beyond the means of most black couples. While money is certainly an important factor in stabilizing a long-term relationship, it can also be a great divider.
A black woman will disregard a black man making 60k a year because she wants a lifestyle beyond his means. Black men will bypass a black woman and any committed relationship to avoid the feeling of being used. The idea of the black power couple has done more to separate the potential black couple than to strengthen it.
It is my opinion that for the black power couple to truly emerge from the flames of this current dating market, the definition has to encompass more than a lifestyle of glitz and glamour. The mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being should be just as important, if not more so. The path to the mountaintop has gotten slippery in recent decades. However, I firmly believe that black men and women have to find a better way to collaborate and avoid unnecessary conflict. Any black couple building a future and overcoming the obstacles along the way is a power couple in my eyes.
