“The grass isn’t always greener on the other side” is a phrase you may often hear people say in response to someone thinking of leaving one relationship for another.
When we are unhappy in our relationships, it is normal to question whether we might have a more fulfilling relationship with someone else. When we see others in their relationships, and they appear to be happier than we are in ours, this causes us to feel that we are missing out on something.
Additionally, throughout our lives, we grow and change. We will often encounter people who appear to be more compatible with us at a certain point in our personal evolution.
This article will explore three instances where these feelings may have merit. Yes, the grass may be greener on the other side, and I will explain why.
No. 3 – The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side Because You Aren’t in it
This is a cold hard fact that many of us do not care to accept. To sustain a healthy relationship, we must be individually capable of handling that commitment. If you lack the qualities necessary to contribute to a fulfilling companionship, you will be unhappy no matter who you are with.
You may find another person who has all of the qualities you desire. They are vibrant and attractive, and you look at them as though they are everything you are missing. However, after developing a relationship with that person, you become unfulfilled. After some time, you begin to look at them as though they are no different than many others you have dated in the past.
As hard as it may be to accept, if this is happening to you often, you may want to stop and realize that the common denominator in your failing relationships is YOU.
No. 2 – The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side Because Your Significant Other Isn’t in it
We must also consider that you may be in a relationship with a person who fits No. 3. Sometimes, no matter how prepared you may be for a relationship, you may find yourself with some who is not equally ready.
However, recognizing whether you are the issue or your significant other is the problem is difficult to do. It is usual for us to blame others instead of looking at ourselves. Speaking to family and friends about your relationship will NOT help you determine where the problems lie because they will almost always side with you.
Therefore, if you are married, I strongly suggest speaking to a marriage counselor to get an objective view of your relationship. Most marriage counselors will not flat out tell you who is to blame for the relationship’s problems. However, after several sessions, you will be able to read between the lines and determine if you might be happier elsewhere.
No. 1 – The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side Because It is Cared For
In my opinion, this is one of the greatest reasons relationships fail. As human beings, we all have flaws. We all have some form of baggage that we bring into a relationship. When you connect two very different people, it takes special care to make that union work.
I love the analogy of viewing relationships as grass. There is great truth to the connection if you examine it closely.
New relationships are like fresh grass. If you have ever laid sod on your yard, you will notice it is always beautiful initially. At first, you take great pride in your new “grass” because, for a time, it will appear to be the best yard in the neighborhood.
However, grass requires maintenance. If you ignore your grass, it will eventually lose its luster. Weeds will begin to overtake the grass, its color may change, and it will not be as nice to look at or enjoy. Instead of nurturing the grass back to health, you might desire to remove the grass and lay new sod. However, the new sod will eventually suffer the same fate because the problem is the lack of care.
Unlike grass, it is much easier for some people to “replace” a relationship instead of putting in the work to care for it. Relationships suffer frequent damage from the natural elements of life. Whether it is work-related issues, social issues, financial problems, or the stress of raising children, many things tear down the fabric of our relationships.
Like grass, our relationships require regular maintenance and “treatment” to keep them healthy and beautiful.
If your relationship was once healthy, you might need to take time to figure out what went wrong. Honest communication with your significant other is the first step to figuring out what type of maintenance schedule your relationship needs.
There are many books that may help you find the proper way to care for your relationships. I especially recommend reading The Five Love Languages.
