Children absorb the world around them like sponges. Everything they see, hear, and experience will shape and mold them. Most of us are aware that receive genes from our parents which shape certain personality traits. Many of us may not be aware that research shows that our childhood experiences can affect the way our genes work.
Due to the impact that environment has on the development of our children, we must stay mindful of the type of people and experiences that we expose them to.
In this article, we will focus on those relationships that our children observe that could potentially effect their future behaviors and relationships.
Women – Your children are watching how you treat their father
Understandably, there is much emphasis is placed on how men treat women. Yet, we often ignore that our children are also watching how we treat the men in our lives. I’m going to be dreadfully honest here. My mother taught me many wonderful things. She taught me honesty. She taught me kindness and cleanliness. However, she also taught me some negative things. One of those things is – disrespect for men.
My mother didn’t respect my stepfather, and it showed. As I got older, I realized that there was a reason she didn’t respect him. By the time I realized why my stepfather wasn’t being respected, I had subconsciously learned that men are not worthy of respect.
There are many legitimate reasons why you may not respect your child’s father. Still, if your lack of respect stems from your childhood experiences, that is something that you need to change. Even if you have had a negative experience with your child’s father, that may not be your child’s experience with them. It is not fair to encourage your children to take sides or taint their relationship with their father because of your personal feelings towards him.
Good men want to be respected. Teaching your daughter respect will give her an essential tool to attract a good man.
Men – Your children are watching how you treat their mother
Your son will learn how to treat women by watching your behavior. The way you speak to his mother, what you do for her, or the things you don’t do for her, will all become permanent parts of his memory.
Your son will pick up on how you handle conflict with his mother. Are you prone to bouts of violence or abuse or do you remain calm in times of stress?
Are you providing for their mother financially? Whether you are the head of the household or paying child support, you are responsible for sharing the financial burden of raising your children. At some point, your children will begin to notice if you are lacking in this regard.
“always treat the mother of your children like you would want a man to treat your daughter”
As your children grow older, they will begin to take note the role you take in the family.
You are the first man that your daughter will love. This is a huge responsibility that many men take for granted. The way you treat your children and their mother, will teach your daughter what to accept from another man. You should always treat the mother of your children like you would want a man to treat your daughter.
Parents – Your children are watching how you treat them
The way you treat your children will permanently affect their lives and personality.
Loving and nurturing your child throughout their childhood is important to their mental and physical development.
Think back to your own childhood. Do you see some parts of your parents in yourself? Do you see parts of your parents in the way you treat others? The way you treat your children?
Young men need love and nurturing from their mothers and guidance, support and love from their fathers.
Young girls need love and nurturing from their mothers and love and attention from their fathers. A girl who has a loving and available father will be less likely to go out looking for love an attention elsewhere.
Early Experiences Can Alter Gene Expression and Affect Long-Term Development
Your children are watching who your friends are
“You are who your friends are” is a well-known saying that implies a couple of things. First, our friends have an influence on our behavior. Secondly, we generally attract people who have traits and values that are similar to our own.
Our friends will not only have an impact on how we think and behave, but they will also have an impact on how our children think and behave. If our children notice us engaging in questionable behavior with our friends, we will have a hard time making the case for them not to engage in the same type of behavior.
Excessive drinking, promiscuity, drug use, excessive spending and overindulgence are just a few of the negative examples that we can be passing on to our children unknowingly.
If we want our children to choose positive people as friends, we must make sure that we do so ourselves.
Final words
We should remain mindful of the impact that our choices and behaviors will have on our children. Their future depends on us. Everything we do has the potential to have a lasting effect on them.
Even if we have failed to live up to the best standards up to this point, it is not too late. The time to make changes is NOW.
