When the words we use reflect the experiences and ideas we gathered over time, how do we know when change is necessary? Living in the modern world there are a million point views floating on the internet. It’s becoming frequently harder to decipher what to follow. Statistics indicate that many young black men are being raised in single-mother homes, are future eligible bachelors handicapped?
Dating vs. Courting
Many women have complained that men have lost their chivalrous nature. At the same time, men are complaining women have lost their feminine nature. The battle over love is fierce. Black fathers have been few and far between in many young men’s lives for a myriad of reasons. I have experienced my share of heartbreak while breaking a few hearts myself.
The tools I have gathered over the years were mainly by trial and error. What type of women do I like? Are there any specific types of personalities I get along with? What do I have to offer? The years have rewarded me with a lovely and passionate partner, though I have done my fair share to complicate that bond. The hardest part of any relationship is the beginning stages and maintaining the connection as both parties grow.
Distinguishing the differences in the mating process will surely help young men define what path they want to take. Most men are simple and just want a woman who they can trust and rely on to provide a sense of safety from the world.
The hardest part that is in first meeting a stranger you have to quickly learn who they are. I have met many women who turned out to be something different than the resume presented at first. Being able to stand by the boundaries and standards you set to keep you safe and sane.
Courting is an art. The chase is filled with much nuisance. Flowers, kind words, and gestures stimulate the occasion. Some men just love the chase and never really intend to go beyond that stage.
Dating is a constant negotiation. In preparation for a serious relationship, dating takes a lot more tact and strategy to keep the interest high.
While each presents different outcomes, both require that you know your goal.
Casual vs. Commitment
After getting past the dating or courting, your partner begins to wonder if their time with you holds real value. The choices made are reflective of your desires or the lack of direction. Getting sucked into long-term circumstances in which you have little interest echoes your inability, to be honest. Whether you are seeking friends with a benefits package or a potential wife, you must be prepared for the complications each presents.
The heart is a fickle muscle. It is built to maintain your body without any provocation, yet can crumble with the slightest sign of rejection. I have faced my share of rejection and never lost the drive to find what I wanted. With emotions acting much like a power grid, we search for the right balance to keep the electricity flowing. Too much and you blow the fuses, not enough and the entire power grid shuts down.
Keeping finances out of the equation, long-term relationships have a currency hard to keep up with. Some women love your time, others love the things you provide. Determining if potential partners are interested in you genuinely has become a Rubix cube.
To truly find your potential future wife, I have learned that you have to be willing to risk heartbreak to find that person. A clogged heart eventually stops pumping. Vice versa, if you enjoy the thrill of chasing multiple partners be honest from the beginning. A heart played with can cause plenty of chaos.
The heart wants
The goal of any man will determine his actions. I knew early that I wanted to be a man with a wife and raise a family. The difficulties of courting I’ve learned rest in the place in which you meet your potential mate. In searching for a compatible mate I had a set of clear questions I’d always ask. However, that does not make me immune to the vast number of representatives who hide the true character of women.
Far from perfect, I have contributed to the occasional heartbreak in a young lady or two. The best way to gather the right information is to test the theories you believe will bring the right type of woman into your life. Remaining true to your core ideals will not shield you from the hiccups in the arena of courting or dating. This tactic will allow you to realize quickly when a situation is heading nowhere, and you should begin to head for the exit.
Causal or committed relationships thrive off the same principles. Honesty, effort, and communication. The lessons I’ve learned are that in a growing man’s life, he must accept the path he has chosen to fully educate himself.
I have never been one to shy away from approaching or engaging women. I have learned that rejection is a tool to sharpen one’s ego to become driven to succeed.
In conclusion, we must run a few races to understand that all relationships require endurance. Some will need the endurance of the mind, others will demand your physical commitment. Be sure that to investigate the depths of your soul before looking to intertwine with another.
